Expect the Unexpected
by RenaRoo
Summary: [RvB Bingo War] Emily Grey needs something to distract her from paperwork, Sarge has a cure.


Prompt: ( a-taller-tale ) Dr Grey - unexpected family addition.

A/N: Let's do "Robot Love" for this square fill ; )

Red vs Blue and related properties © Rooster Teeth  
story © RenaRoo

 **Expect the Unexpected**

Emily Grey was sure of many things in life. She was certain of the power of a good education. She was certain of the horrors of war. And she was certain that if she spent only one more day signing papers in her office without treating a single patient with her own hands, she would have to herself committed.

Finally putting away the papers at her desk, walking out into the hospital, and snapping on a pair of her favorite purple nitrate gloves, she looked around and waited expectantly for an emergency.

After all, on Chorus, emergencies were a given on any day of the week, at any time. It was an entire planet made of civil war and turmoil!

She stood by in the hallway, blinking a few times, wide smile on her face. But nothing seemed to happen. The world, as Emily Grey had once surely known it, was no longer turning but, rather, turned on its ear.

"Nurse," she called out lightly.

One RN looked up from his clipboard and raised an eyebrow at her. "Um, yes, Doctor Grey?"

"What is the next surgery scheduled on the board?" she demanded. "I want my name added to it. I don't care what it is. But if there is any neurology cases, those are preferred."

The nurse looked at her then to the whiteboard before coming back to her. "Um. There are none."

"Oh, it would figure that there wouldn't be today," she sighed before looking toward the nurse more directly. "Sign me up for anything else then."

"No, Doctor Grey… I think you misunderstand," the nurse continued before waving a pen toward the board. "There's nothing scheduled for today. And… really, I'm looking through my files right now, I don't think there's going to be anything other than emergencies this week."

That was nearly enough to make Emily collapse. She marched toward the nurse, wide-eyed. "What are the chances of an emergency?" she demanded.

"Ex-excuse me?" the nurse asked, visibly frightened. "I… I don't know what you mean by that, ma'am. But… I don't know. There's not a war going on. Chorus has a very small population that fits in a single city. We're not scheduled for anything because… well…"

"Because what?" she asked desperately.

"You've literally seen every person on Chorus, Doctor Grey!" he exclaimed. "That's… that's not a bad thing. It's really a very good thing, right? I mean, you have an entire planet to service and you're not going to have a single death on your record book for the hospital today! Well… god willing that this keeps up and all."

Feeling disheartened, Emily turned back toward her office, dragging her hands down the sides of her face. "There is nothing to keep me from my paperwork today," she moaned.

"Oh, heh, I wouldn't say that, l'il lady."

Nearly gasping, Emily spun around on her heels, narrowly avoiding smacking the poor bystander of a nurse with her hand as she did so. She then twisted her hands together before her chest as she saw none other than the Colonel himself standing before her in full uniform.

"Colonel Sarge!" she said in delight. "Have you been naughty with that shotgun of yours today? Any emergencies? Any buckshot that requires removal?"

The hospital mostly went back to business as usual around them, though the two did receive more than a few put off glances.

"Not at all, though now that you mention it I'm certain that Grif somehow would deserve it. I've not even seen him today, but I can feel it!" he said gruffly, looking toward the exit.

"Oh, hush, you," Grey giggled before hugging around his neck. "Now, what did you really come to visit me at work for if it's not expedient medical coverage?"

Sarge tilted his helmet toward her. "Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about how much work you do and how the only way that work could be relieved is with a truly stress relieving activity. One that would tickle your toes and fancy your nose."

"I'm sure whatever that means in your mind, it is a wonderful and lovely sentiment," Emily responded cheekily.

"And I knew that nothing was more relaxing of an activity than endless, constant, clinging care of a completely dependent and non-self-sufficient creature," Sarge explained.

Grey blinked. "Sarge, I told you before, I'm not off the pill–"

"Which is exactly why I have this wonderful addition to our cohesive family unit on standby! I worked on him all morning myself, just to make sure he was right!" Sarge called out before reaching behind his back and producing a small, but recognizable if only in form, robot.

Yiff Yiff! the robot said, a long, malleable rod on its back end wagging along with its expression.

Completely taken by surprise, Emily looked at Sarge. "You… you loved me so much you built me a robot dog?" she asked, hoping her eyes weren't nearly as watery as her voice.

"And just to make sure it gave you the feeling of the real thing, I trained it to recycle beer cans by eating them, compounding them into hilarious emoticon-like shapes, and dropping them out on the floor until you train him to go outside like a real boy!" Sarge chuckled. "Or have me rewire him if you don't have the time. Which is probably the case."

"You wonderful, crazy, wonderful man," Emily laughed before leaning forward and kissing the cheek of his helmet.

Yiff! Yiff! the dog continued to call out excitedly between them.


End file.
